April 29th 19:35 2021 - And that was it. I was the villain.
"You Either Die A Hero, Or You Live Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain"
-John Nolan
Let me be very clear.
This was not the post I had planned for today. That one I had cooked. It cooked a lot of people and cooked a lot of things. It would have made jaws drop and eyes pop. There would have been about 20 people in my situation tomorrow and a few institutions reeling. Including a certain news company.
I was advised to not put it out.
And I agreed to not do so.
Not through fear because everything I said was facts, and I didn’t fear it. It was because we/I should be moving on as best we can and I’m honestly trying to do that and remain positive while they still try to crush me.
It’s Surreal though. 3 years today at this exact time since I was blasted for being what they called me.
Blasted by the paper and the 20+ people that s u p p o s e d l y
don’t know each other, had no malice and were just telling their stories.
Things that to this day I will say were more not real than they were real.
I can still feel the fear, as we packed up the kids and drove away knowing my life was about to be changed forever by people I had mostly looked after but who seemingly felt hurt by me in different ways enough to go to a paper.
Now let’s be clear.
There is no Halo sitting upon my crown. Forgive me, but I am imperfect, I am flawed, I have made many mistakes in my years on this planet but -
1: Who were they/you to judge me so publicly.
2: There are channels that can be gone down for issues like this especially if so rampant and real.
And
3: THEY ALL HAVE TOO. (Allegedly)
But it didn’t have to be like that. And If they were all so real why am I sitting at home typing this?
Very recently - Ncuti Gatwa said
“there’s so much white mediocrity that gets celebrated, and Black people have to be absolutely flawless to get half of [that] anyway," adding: “We’re trained to be like, ‘If I’m not exceptional, I won’t be loved.’"
Now I have opinions on the first part that don’t fully align, but the second part. Well guess what? FACTS!! And it’s more. It’s not we’re trained. Nobody could “Train” me which was another thing they did not like, but IT is just a fact. if you look like me and you are not flawless they finish you.
While others can crash their car 9 times. Or steal three other women’s husbands on set. Or hire a 16 year old and shag them for years while making sure they keep their job. Or snort the moon up their nose, come back and then run over little girls while drunk driving and come back again and still get £25m a year.
—
I mean was it even worth it? What’s really been achieved? We are not on this earth long.
I guess it is what it is. I’m trying so much to get past it and live in positivity. To thrive from a dark place. To forgive and move on.
I went out today and the sky is blue, the air is fresh and i’m Alvie which I nearly wasn’t. So I’m thankful for that if nothing else. Nothing like trauma to reset your mindset.
I’m sending love and light to everyone who’s gone through tough times. Those that like me and those that don’t. Especially if you feel that way and have never actually met me. Takes a certain mindset to judge and dislike people you never met.
Special shout out to those who do know me, and anyone who doesn’t that has shown me compassion, love and support the last few years to keep going.
And anyone who wonders how I am still going. Every time I read a lie, an embellishment, a twist, an out of context revisionist recollection. Or see one of them acting like a paragon of virtue when I know different. I get my energy back. I just get more determined to show you.
You think I’m being disingenuous. Fine. Just wait till court!
I only fight them because they give me no choice.
“All tyrannies rule through fraud and force, but once the fraud is exposed they must rely exclusively on force.”
— George Orwell
Flip 3 years I remember immediately going wtf.. jury by media circus should be a crime... Noel I really wish you and your family well.. they are your people.. and I hope we all get to hear you Roar 💓
Noel your on the up and up now F@#k the haters they have crawled back under the dirt they buried themselves with...no one knows what you been through but your gonna bounce back with the biggest balls cause your a fighter and a gentleman good luck noel xx