BOUNDARIES

When did doing what's right for you become don't do anything for anyone else.

Boundaries are important. They are the very essence of humanity.

“I will accept this but I won’t accept this.”

“I will allow that but I won’t tolerate that.”

Unfortunately nobody is perfect and even the most well intentioned and good hearted person can test or push someone else’s boundaries to the limit. And sometimes even break them. Mistakes are a part of life and hopefully if you push or break those boundaries you can (if you want to be) be forgiven, can learn, heal and grow from that.

What I don’t like is this “I need to do what’s right for me”. Boundary that has spawned from the super inclusive club. I mean, I’m an inclusive and on the surface it seems to a very sensible way of thinking. After all we all want our mental health respected as we all have a lot more understanding about it all now.

And I can admit while being brainwashed by this I have said this to people. I have said to people. “Well, I understand you have to do what’s right for you.” but that should never override just doing what is right. Again while understanding that peoples definitions are of that are changeable.

But…

When workers take a job and then suddenly start coming in late or when they want because the hours “aren’t right for them anymore.” or “the travel doesn’t work for me” or they want an emotional support animal because the environment at work is Toxic🤮 and isn’t quiet right for them.

This is where you lose me. Not because I don’t respect your choice, But fifteen other people in your office don’t want your fucking ferret in there.

10 other people have to do the same hours as you and don’t fucking complain.

Leave. Get another job. Leave. Don’t affect all these people with your “This isn’t right for me.” Your’e the problem.

Or in relationship when one partner set boundaries or what they do like and the other person slowly erodes and discontinues them because “they don’t like it” or “it’s not right for them”.

Again it’s not a problem to grow and change and evolve. To change what we like and don’t. And what we’ll accept and won’t but what I see with a lot of people (maybe due to trauma of lack or real communication skills) and especially with this generation is a lack of comprise.

Having their boundaries is not the problem and things can change over time and people can grow and evolve but eroding someone else’s is not fine. Check in, ask, evolve as person but together.

Complete failure to see compromise by the very people that preach inclusivity is breaking society. Unless something is going to kill you or absolutely repel you (but then you should find out why) You may not like something, or want to adhere to something but can you appreciate that your colleague or partner or someone may need that or want that.

“This is right for me.” is breaking society. Because if people are setting their boundaries to a place where they have to do only what’s right for them. There will be a failure or lack or empathy to just do what is right. And sometimes at the expense of others.

When did doing what’s right for me mean stop doing anything for anyone else?