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Middle Age Musings's avatar

As a woman, I would say yes. I'm a firm believer that if a woman is attacking a man, he has the right to defend himself. Unfortunately, as you have aluded to, there is a very real chance that he would come off worse legally. In my opinion, if she is "big enough" to attack someone, then she's "big enough" to take a slap too.

Well done for keeping your cool and not risking arrest and having your children see it.

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TD Craig's avatar

Women can be toxic too. In fact, I was reading an article on Substack the other day that highlighted that women were more likely than men to abuse their children, especially in unmarried partnerships. This presumption of female innocence has to stop. It's just asking for trouble.

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Erol-antony McKenzie's avatar

I’m so sorry that happened to you and your kids.

I once got punched in the face in a bar in Scotland back in the early 80’s. I was in the RAF at the time and I have a scar on my cheek to this day as it broke my glasses and embedded glass there.

The Forces helped me prosecute the guy, he pleaded guilty too and he went to jail for 3 months for that one punch and I was awarded some paltry damages but I was happy with the outcome.

This penchant for suspended sentences has always bothered me.

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Vivian Kydd's avatar

No we are not equal. You did the right thing. My dad never raised his hand to a woman but he did tell me growing up, if i ever slapped a man, be prepared to be slapped back. She definitely deserved a slap but again you did the right thing for you and your kids. If that was me and a guy jumped in my car, i'd have been terrified. Thank god you had other witnesses or the outcome might not have been in your favour. ❤️

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Ankit's avatar

That took some self-control. You passed a difficult test. Then what happened happened.

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Liyah Trickey's avatar

Firstly, I'm sorry that this happened to you Noel. It's abhorrent - but there are so many things that have happened to you that I am outraged about I'm also sorry that your kids had to watch it.

Secondly, you absolutely should have slapped her! You have as much right as a man, to defend yourself from an attack by a woman. I do understand why you didn't however, with your kids being in the car and having to watch it all.

As a witness to domestic violence by my birth father against my birth mum, it's an atrocious thing to watch and unfortunately the cycle is often perpetuated - whether that be that the witness or victim become the aggressor or become victims themselves. As it thrned out for me, I let some d*ckhead mentally and physically abuse me for years before I saw sense and got out that situation.

As a woman, I find it hard to understand why there is not more coverage of DV against men, whether that's man on man or woman on man. Many campaigns focus on women as the victims when in reality, some women are equally as f*cked up and think they have the right to abuse their partners.

The world is a F*cked up place!

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Steve the Builder's avatar

Interesting piece, but no women have been 'treated badly for a millenium'. At most there may be a woman somewhere that has been treated badly for a century.

Or do we men get to piss and moan about how many men have been killed in wars and sent down coal mines and whipped to hew rock for the pyramids. Do I get to shout at the barista 'WE MEN DIED DEFENDING CONSTANTINOPLE!' when they get my coffee order wrong?

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Kate Brock's avatar

It is unacceptable that men should hit women or women should hit men (full stop). A punch from a woman to a man is not the same as a punch from a man to a woman, just like a kick in the groin of a woman is not the same as the kick in the groin of a man. It’s not comparable. The impact on your children is also unacceptable and you were right to press charges. She sounds like a person with issues and you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. People lucky enough to have been born into and brought up in a civilised environment, don’t behave like that.

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Kate Brock's avatar

We are bought up in an environment where men are seen as superior and women inferior, when the truth is men have strengths and weaknesses and women have strengths and weaknesses. Both men and women are to blame for supporting misogyny and both men and women suffer as a result of misogyny. Women are supposed to pretend they are inferior or suffer the consequences, and men are supposed to pretend they are superior or suffer the consequences . Neither of which is the truth. The truth is where men are weak women are strong and where women are weak men are strong.

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Andy Nowicki's avatar

Only a feminist could turn a story about a woman assaulting a man into a lecture about "misogyny"

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Elsie E Connelly's avatar

I AM AN OLD WOMAN

AND I AGREE WITH YOU. Feminists ruin it for EVERYONE

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Clayton Robertson's avatar

Women DESERVE to get slapped. Even you…

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Elsie E Connelly's avatar

Sometimes they do

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Clayton Robertson's avatar

I was talking about planet earth…. 😏

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Kate Brock's avatar

Only regressive Medieval cultured twats think that.

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Clayton Robertson's avatar

What part of THE TRUTH is triggering for you little Ms. insignificant?

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Kate Brock's avatar

It’s ok sweetie, I do understand. Not all children are born to outstanding mothers, and as a result grow up feeling inadequate, and blame their feelings of inadequacy on ALL women. If you know anyone like that, you might want to suggest they try a bit harder to find the truth. The truth is very rewarding.

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Clayton Robertson's avatar

Women are incapable of finding the truth, or telling it if the ever did. Does that make them scum??

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Kate Brock's avatar

What? Sounds like you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.

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Saundra Lee Nader's avatar

Why did she get your car , she is a bitch, I can’t read any more cause it says I have to subscribe , but I am , every moth the take 2:99 out of my PayPal

I just don’t understand, ❤️

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Deb Nance's avatar

We're not equal. We're opposite. We're supposed to compliment each other. We have different functions and men are supposed to protect women and women are supposed to nurture the husband and children. Girl power is propaganda. This idea that you can have it all is deep state bullshit. I'm impressed with your patience Noel. You set a great example that day for your children. One they will remember for years to come.

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JaseFace's avatar

In Family Law this bias is called 'The Glass Wall'. Women can do no wrong, it takes years for a good dad to wrest the children from even the worst train wreck of a mother (violence against spouse, children, prostitution, addiction, suicide attempts are all shrugged off by courts).

The flip side is the famed 'Silver Bullet' of false accusations of violence made by mum against dad. Together they encapsulate a misery mill that mirrors what you've said.

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Misha Angeloff's avatar

I have bad news for you. You live in a feminist, matriarchal dystopia. Given that you have kids and they were with you, you probably did the right thing. But patriarchy is the Christian norm. In a truly Christian country, you could have dragged her out of the car and backhand slapped her off her feet without consequence. But manhood is outlawed in the West. Now many blacks and lower class whites simply ignore it and act like men and accept jail time. In a sense that is more honorable and right. But everyone has to deal with this wicked society as they think best. The solution is to push to the political right relentlessly. And act out if you need to.

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Elsie E Connelly's avatar

I WOULD HAVE SLAPPED HER FOR YOU.

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Jeff Zekas's avatar

As a retired prison guard, I would have no problem taking someone to the ground if they were attacking me or my kids. Here in Oregon it is legal to carry pepper spray so that makes it much easier.

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Professor Dating's avatar

If I was in your situation, of course, I would not have knocked her down as I would do with a man. But I would have pulled her over my knee, and administered a bare bottom spanking to her in public. And no one would blame you for this if it was out of self-defense. And especially American people would be by your side, as spanking is no violence for them in general. Spanking is just spanking.

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Bob's avatar

He would have been charged with sexual assault for certain.

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Professor Dating's avatar

Okay, in that case, I forgot to mention I would have taken her for a ride with my car first, that she didn't want to get out of, and administer the bare botton spanking at a quiet place then, drop her, and ride off.

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Simon Neale's avatar

In the first few lines you allude to the fact that we are in a period of rapid social and cultural change. I think some people would say you had every right to hit that violent attacker, and indeed were daft not to. Some would take the more traditional attitude and say no, not a woman, never.

Personally, I try to imagine a parallel article where you punch her out. That strongly appeals to my sense of natural justice and views on how we should deal with unprovoked drunken attackers who threaten our children. Part of me reacts with a broad grin, and I even stand up and cheer. But another part of me likes that traditional masculine chivalrous side of you that you actually displayed, and is in awe of your self-control and forbearance.

I like the second "me" more. So I guess you did the right thing. I'd try and copy you.

And I like your writing, too!

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